On Connection

Reconnecting with old friends who have become family

It had been over five years since the five of us were in California together—not since we drove away in the middle of the pandemic, making the move from CA to MN. My husband and I had both been back for various reasons—work, visiting friends—but never before had we been back with the kids.

We couldn’t wait to spend our Spring Break back in the Bay visiting friends who have become family and the places that hold so much love, joy and nostalgia.

The trip did not disappoint. It was not without its drama (no trip with three young kiddos ever is), but the joy far surpassed anything else.

The first part of our trip we spent the days as tourists doing the things we never quite got around to when we actually lived there. Then, we headed to the island town where we lived and where all three of our kiddos were born.

On our first day there, we set up shop at one of our favorite spots--a brewery with a huge outdoor space and an unobstructed view of the San Francisco skyline. The weather was perfection and our dearest friends met us to soak up the sun and each other’s company.

With each new friend arriving, the conversation started very similarly. Squeals (from my friends and I) followed by giant hugs and a chorus of “how long has it been?”, “I miss you!”, and “it is SO good to see you,” Inevitably, an adult turned to one of the kiddos and said, “ You probably don’t remember me, but I knew you when you were a baby!” While I had seen the adults and a couple of the kids that we see about once a year, most of my friends hadn’t seen my kids and I hadn’t seen theirs for the last five years. It was like meeting each other for the first time.

And it was a little awkward at first, especially for the kids who vaguely remembered each other but mostly through pictures and their parents’ memories. Much to my oldest son’s dismay, I suggested that he and another boy go play shuffleboard together while the parents caught up.

The looks I got from my son and his old friend were exactly what you might expect from two eleven year old boys whose moms were making them do something they didn’t want to do. Not quite ‘cringe’ but also not their first choice.

Begrudgingly, they quietly went to play, with us Mom’s checking on them nonchalantly every once in a while. Within an hour, the two were best friends. Which we expected. I had remained very close with my friend since we moved and hearing stories of her son made me certain that the two would get along well.

Over the next three days, we explored our favorite playgrounds, walks, restaurants, coffee shops, gift shops, farmer’s market with the best strawberries on this planet, and spent as much time with our friends as possible. Our AirBnb happened to be two blocks from my son’s new (old) best friend, so the two met up to play basketball and hang out at least once a day. When it was time to go to our next stop (Sonoma!) we were sad to say goodbye but knew that without a doubt we would be getting the families together soon. There really was no other option. It was far too much fun to not keep the love and community going.

Throughout the entire trip, my heart soared. It felt so good, so natural to be in this community with people who I love and adore. It’s funny because more than one person asked me while we were there if we were going to move back. I said we had no plans to, but also, you never know. We are very happy and settled where we are and have no plans to move anytime soon. However, I know that life has so many twists and turns; you never really know what’s going to happen next. Will we make our way back there someday? Maybe. Not now. But maybe someday. One thing I know, however, is that these people, these friends that have become family, will always be a part of my life, no matter where I live.

Connection is such a powerful thing. Connection to people; connection to place; connection to community.

This trip was a good reminder that when you create those deep bonds, they stay for life. Connection isn’t just about physical proximity. Friendship, love, and family can flourish and grow anywhere. In this season of life, I may not see these people on a daily, weekly, monthly, or even annual basis, but they hold such a big piece of my heart. And they always will.

I’m so thankful for the community that I built in California and for the community I’m building here in Minnesota.

I am very lucky.

I have to say, it was also really nice to have some warm California sun, especially after a long, cold Minnesota winter.