On Wins

Soaking up the moments that make you feel great

Last week I wrote about ‘Mom Fails,’ Naturally, this week it makes sense to reflect on wins.

When I say ‘wins,’ it’s not necessarily about winning a game or anything in particular; it’s more about those things that make you feel lit up, alive, and so yourself that you cannot help but feel a warmth spread through your body.

In fact, I often tell my kids that I really don’t care if they win or lose any sport or activity that they’re doing. What I care most about is that they are having fun, trying their best, and growing.

Throughout the year at my kid’s elementary school, each student receives an award designed specifically for them. They have assemblies every quarter where the students are recognized in front of their peers and parents/grown ups. It’s very endearing. My middle son received an award earlier this year and my oldest and youngest got their awards this week.

I love this tradition and appreciate that my kids always receive awards that are so beautifully aligned with who they are--their strengths. Awards like creative thinking, thoughtfulness, kindness, hard work.

As I watched my kids get up in front of their peers to receive their awards from the principal and their teacher, I loved seeing the smiles on their faces. They were so pumped. Especially my daughter, who had such a big smile on her face that it was like she had won a Grammy, which, who knows, someday she might. She does want to be a singer after all. Honestly, I probably looked like I had just won a Grammy, too.

Ironically, about two days before my kids got their awards for critical thinking and thoughtfulness, we got into a conversation on the drive home from school about just that — critical thinking.

I don’t remember what started the conversation, which is common for us; we often joke about how our conversations bob and weave so dramatically that we have no idea how we got from point A to point B. We’ll ask: How did we get here? Why are we talking about this? Where did this conversation even start? It’s fun to track how “what made you laugh at school today” turns into a conversation about how important it is to stand up for what you believe in. As my oldest will tell you, I go deep — I don’t do fluff.

So, as we were in the car talking on the short drive home, we got from some version of how their day was to how important it is to kindly, respectfully and with empathy push back, ask questions, and get curious. I told them that even though sometimes Mom gets frustrated when they don’t do something that I ask them to do (like clean up toys, put away their backpacks, do their homework, etc.), I love that they will often ask why they need to do something. The fact that they push back on things and don’t just accept everything is a really positive trait to have in life. (And also, we do need to clean up after ourselves and do things we don’t want to do at times…). It’s important to ask questions. Be curious. Stand up for what you believe in.

Then, two days later, my kids received awards for doing just that.

That feels like a win for them, and also for me.

This time of year can feel so chaotic. The end of school year activities, spring sports, summer sports, special parties, etc. can feel overwhelming. Just last week I reflected on a missed kiddo deadline that crushed me. Therefore, it’s good to have these moments of something going right to remind me that I am not messing up too badly.

My kids are incredible. And endless sources of inspiration, and joy.

Watching anyone do something that makes them proud of themselves is one of the best feelings. I know that when I’m doing things that I love, I feel that pride, and I adore seeing my kids experiencing it too — whether it’s getting an award at school or my son absolutely crushing the monkey bars in a way that I have never been able to do. (aside: That kid is so strong. I am constantly in awe.)

As I’ve said before, celebrating wins — no matter how big or small — is important and not something that I do enough.

This weekend I am running a local race. I hope to have that warm feeling of pride in doing something I love — running — and celebrating the fact that I keep showing up for myself, even when it’s hard. Because running is often hard. That alone is something to be proud of, no matter how fast or slow I go.

It’s a win through and through.